Three Minutes

I was alone tonight from 8:17-8:20.

I know, right?

I actually got to drive in the car all by my little self for three whole minutes while my brother transported all the kiddos from the pool back to his house in his car.

Three minutes.

I got three whole minutes by myself. I'm still trying to recover from it. It was bliss, I tell ya. Bliss.

You see, I can count on one hand all the times I've been alone in the last five months. This journey of "living in between" has been full of adventure and fun and memories. But it has also been full of exhaustion and chaos and me being in charge of all three kids 24/7 without ever having a break. Ever. (Insert me giving a standing ovation to single mothers everywhere. I do not know how you do it.) You may be thinking, "Surely you get to go to the bathroom alone." And right now I'm thinking that if you asked that question, you likely don't have small children at home.

So those three minutes tonight were big time. Big. Time. And since it was so quiet, it made me think about God and wonder why He never wants to be alone.

I would think He gets tired of the constant barrage of requests from me. He doesn't.

I would think my whining might wear on His last nerve. It doesn't.

I would think the idiotic things I do that risk my safety and the safety of others would make Him shake His head and beg for a break. But they don't.

I would think the way I hurt people sometimes would make Him throw up His hands and give up. At least for a little while. But it doesn't.

I would think the fact that I completely and utterly need Him to survive each and every day would zap Him of all His energy and strength. I am, after all, pretty high maintenance. But, still, it doesn't.

In fact, just the opposite. God cannot wait to spend time with me. To hear me talking. To hear me sharing my heart and all that's in it. To watch me interacting with my fellow humans and taking (and missing) chances to love them. He just can't get enough of it. He's not sitting on His throne hoping that someone else would step in briefly and keep an eye on me so that He could have a break. And for that, I'm thankful. He's the only one who I would ever want watching over me.

As I followed Blake and the kids in my car tonight, delighting in the deliciousness of my three whole minutes, I couldn't help but flick on my high beams to see their little faces lighting up with joy at the treat of riding with Uncle B. As much as I am completely and utterly exhausted from these last five months, I sure do love those little faces and my heart is never far from them.

I would like to think that God feels the same way about me. And He does. He really, really does.