Enough to Make You Puke - Part 2

So yesterday I blogged about how my constant intake of junk food finally culminated with a puke-fest that reminded me of my sin and how even though it makes me sick, I keep on doing it. But that wasn't the only thing that made me want to puke. The example I am setting for my children is nauseating at best.

When I found myself grabbing a Mountain Dew and a Smore Pop Tart for breakfast after being so sick from my junk food indulgences the day before, I also found myself hiding what I was eating from my children. I didn't want them to see me eating that after the non-stop instructions I give them about eating healthy and making wise food choices and how food is fuel and how we need to take care of our bodies.

Basically, I didn't want them to see their mother being a hypocrite. As if they didn't know already.

So what did I do about it? What every self-respecting, Christian technophile would do: I confessed my sin through my Facebook status.

"Nikki Sampson Brungard It should be a hint to myself that I must change my eating habits when I find myself hiding what I'm eating for breakfast from my children (S'more Pop Tarts and Mountain Dew.) I am a hypocrite. :(

Does that mean I was convicted? No. Just because I announce something to the FB world doesn't mean I'm convicted about it. It was more like an easy attempt at appearing penitent and a great venue to hear others say, "Me too." Not a lick of conviction going on there.

But then I went to the fridge to finish off my Dew. As I grabbed the handle and whipped it open hankering for another fix of my liquid drug, I saw a verse that I posted there last week for my children to see. But God used it for me instead. It's from 1 John 3:18 and says,

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

And then the conviction came.

When I instruct my kids on healthy eating, I am loving them with words and tongue. When I confess my weakness to others, I am expressing love for my children with words and tongue. When I say I should be honoring God with what I put in my body, I am expressing love for Him with words and tongue. But if all I have is words and tongue and not actions or truth, then my love is empty. Worthless. Full of hypocrisy and selfishness.

So no more hiding what I eat from my kids. No more making myself think that I get to do what I want because I'm the mom. No more comparing myself to others and thinking that at least I'm not that bad (insert finger pointing here.) Because I've seen that list from yesterday. And I am that bad.

May my children look back and say, "My mom not only loved me with words and tongue but her love went deep enough to include actions and truth." May it be, Lord, may it be.

Now, do you think chocolate and raspberry rugula counts as a breakfast pastry? Because I just bought some at BJ's and I would hate for it to go to waste...