Enough to Make You Puke - Part 1

I threw up in the middle of the night last night. After tossing and turning with horrible stomach pains for an hour, I finally relented and went in the bathroom and put my finger down my throat and let it all out. Did I have a virus? Nope. Food poisoning. Huh-uh. I just simply ate too much crap. And I mean crap.

Yesterday, at one point or another, various quantities of the following foods passed by my lips:

S'more Pop Tarts

Mountain Dew

Cheeseburger

Fries

Buffalo Popcorn

Starburst

Good 'n Plenty

Chocolate covered pretzels

Beef Lo Mein

Sesame Chicken

Rice

Sprite

More Mountain Dew

Ritz crackers

Whoppers

I'm sure you need to go and throw up now after reading that list. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Waiting...waiting...waiting...

Feel better don't you?

Yep, I did too after I puked it all up. And then I went back to bed promising that I would give up junk food and never eat like that again.

And then I woke up. And reached for a Mountain Dew and S'more Pop Tart for breakfast and thought, "What is wrong with me?! How can I be puking six hours ago and swearing I'll never eat this stuff again and here I am downing complete crap for breakfast? I need help!" I have the desire to eat salad, but I cannot carry it out because the Swiss Roll Cakes are calling to me. When I want to make a good food choice, Swedish Fish are right there with me.

And then it hit me. Romans 7:15-23

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.

How many times have I resolved not to gossip again...and went right back to it? Not to lose my patience again...and yelled at my children? Not to judge someone again...and looked down on the "least" in society? My sin and my propensity for it make me want to puke. It makes my stomach knotted and hurts from the inside out. But, still, I keep doing it. Still I keep putting garbage in. And still garbage pukes itself on out.

Paul finishes this passage of Romans 7 with the following:

"Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Indeed, who will rescue me from this slow death I am dying from the amount of junk food I am ingesting? I am sorry to say it's going to have to be me. I already know what God wants for me so now it's about me changing my choices. Me hating this eating style enough to stop. Me realizing that more and more of my clothes do not fit. Me listening to God prompting my heart about the example I'm setting for my children. Me choosing wisely so I don't have to puke later.

And as for the sin in my life, I have no doubt about who will rescue me from this body of death. I join Paul in saying, "Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" His grace alone rescues me. His willingness to die so I didn't have to rescues me. His conquering death so that I can live forever rescues me. He will rescue me. And I will respond by making choices that don't lead to death. But when I do (and He knows I will), thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord that His grace is still sufficient. And there's no puking required.